Part of his apology letter stated:
“He throws leftover chocolate Jello pudding (in a container with holes on the lid) at me when he’s getting off, and it gets my clothes dirty (mom doesn’t want me to wear dirty clothing).”
For a Mom, it was a tear jerker alright.
While he was being bullied one of his concerns was that his cloths were getting dirty.
The apology letter continued:
“Since I can only sit in the 4th seat or further up, I’m a supreme target.”
Here, he had identified one of many factors that allowed a few of his classmates to escalate trouble on the bus.
He also wrote a most logical prediction:
“Fortunately, they have never stolen my lunch yet.”
Jonathan, my son and writer of the apology letter, got kicked off the bus when he was in grade 6 for destroying school property. We asked him to write a letter of apology to the bus driver in order to be allowed to ride on the bus again.
If we had not discussed this incident with Jonathan we would not likely have discovered the true story and, unjustly, accepted the school’s version of events. Naturally, with no bus ride, our family would have suffered with the logistics of getting Jonathan to school along with our other children.
Given the circumstances, I was proud that despite Jonathan’s autism, he was able to deal with so much teasing, badgering and overall strong bullying tactics without injuring anyone.
Most of us have witnessed bullying whether first hand or as a bystander. Either way, it can be stopped.
We’ve also hear news stories over the years of bully victims taking extreme steps to simple stop being a victim.
So what did Jonathan do that got him temporarily kicked off the bus?
The explanation was in his apology letter:
“The reason I made those holes was because I needed to do something to release my tension. Mrs. Lorenz and I talked about what I could do instead of damaging other people’s stuff.”
The “holes” Jonathan speaks of were holes he made in one of the bus’ seats.
Of course, damage to property is not how I taught Jonathan to deal with anger or frustration. However, the moral of this story is clear. Be sure to know what is going on behind the scenes before you jump to conclusions with your loved one (autistic or not).
Although you’d figure only school age kids are victims of extreme bulling think again. Even elderly bus monitors have fallen victim to unrelenting attacks.
Therefore, be sure to truly listen to your child or loved one when they come to you with a problem. Dismissing them may have undesired consequences.
How did you or those around you deal with a big bad bully?
Did you feel less than capable in that situation? Did you help some suffering from a bully?
To share your story, leave your comment below.
Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Mother, Wife, Author, Founder & CEO of AutismToday.com
P.S. I would like to recommend to you a great tool to deal with conflicts such as bullying.
Download the below video presentation to help you understand the nature of and simple solutions to cope with events such as bullying: