my baby girl, child
of my heart and womb
so fragile, so precious;
what a world I've
brought you into

sweetly sleeping,
softly dreaming
I cannot comprehend
your thoughts
locked inside your head

your mama second
guesses herself every day
wondering what could've
been different what
I should have done better

but there is no "different"
there is no "better"
and I will do what I can
to prepare you for a world
you did not make

I rage, I weep
I scream out loud
why should this happen
to you, to any child
there is never an answer

I love you, precious
I want to make it not so
and so I will fight
I will push and I will
free you from your bonds

there is nothing
in this world that can
stop me from giving you
wings, my baby
not even autism

(Originally written 11 Apr 2003, after a long, trying day.)