Mother’s are very attentive to family members. This skill becomes second nature for Mother’s with many children.
Throughout the years, I became increasingly aware of our family’s total focus on my fourth child, Jonathan, who has autism. I attribute this to the egocentric nature of autism and our continuous worry about him socially and behaviorally as well as the overwhelming concern for his safety.
This could be perceived as being unfair for the rest of the family but with empathy, and communication we realized that for Jonathan’s guidance and protection it must be done.
Still, others in the family may feel slighted.
It’s easy to lose sight of why we do things the way we do. Things happen in the midst of our unfolding lives which give rise to setting priorities. We do this to establish a method to the “madness.”
My family’s added attention and protection towards Jonny may have initially appeared as favoritism when in reality it was far from it. Learning to cope and work through these struggles made all of us stronger, compassionate and more resilient adults.
Resilience is a key factor. A major change in careers was in order for me so that I could provide the best for our special needs children. Had I been selfish and stubborn I hate to think what would have befallen our family.
Another twist in our family dynamics was that we had two additional children after Jonathan. Alex, one of the two youngest was also special needs. The new challenge became dividing attention between Jonathan and Alex while not alienating the other four children.
That was tough, as we had focused much attention on Jonathan for so long.
Demonstrating our love for the entire family was unique since each member had individual needs. Love can be shown many different ways.
Cooperation from the family in caring for one of their own while recognizing the delicate balance we had to maintain as a family unit prevailed despite our tough road.
What have you done to ensure peace in your family relations?
How have you dealt with the workload of a special needs individual?
I want to hear your story, please leave a comment below.
Sharing your best lets others know you care. Let me know how you did it.
Mother, Wife, Author, Founder & CEO of AutismToday.com
P.S. Plenty of tips, strategies, and tools to assist you in spreading out your attention in a family with special needs are a wonderful resource.
To download a video presentation that will help keep your family unit healthy and loving click this link: